Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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