people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
