I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
