I hate your face
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
