Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
