ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
one two three fourrrrnication!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
