I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
