No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
