That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You were trust falling into bushes
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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