can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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