My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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