True but thats because hes a fetus.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
