You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
