You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
