Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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