It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
