You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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