Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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