i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Randomize
