Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
