well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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