I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
