I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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