Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
