i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm like, not good at living.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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