I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
