you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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