No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
