it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
