so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
