My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
