My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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