i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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