I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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