that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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