My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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