I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
