okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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