So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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