I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
