Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
