No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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