Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
