Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
