Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
