Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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