Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
