pedialite and red bull = repair kit
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
