Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
