how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
