I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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